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Get Outta Mah face! Get Offa Mah case!

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Mouth Control:
Helping ourselves help others gain self-control & self-esteem without using M&M's

or all you ever wanted to know about how
the words we choose to use can help us
lose friends and antagonize people

Catalog # W660 - $20.00     ISBN:  1-56400-023-0

160 pages (8� x 11) in a 3-ring loose-leaf binder


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Hypotheses in Academic Jargon

  • Emotional states trigger specific and predictable speech patterns (verbal and non-verbal) that are developed over time.  These speech patterns in turn trigger the specific emotional or mental states associated with them.  Too frequently, these states and behaviors interfere with learning and create unwanted and unnecessary disturbances.
  • To the extent that a person is in control of his emotional state, he is in control of his language.
  • To the extent that a person is in control of his language, he is in control of his emotional state.
  • Rational-emotive therapy or cognitive-behavioral therapy work best when combined with changing habitual speech patterns from negative or aggressive to positive or conciliatory patterns.
  • The way an individual chooses to dress is a reflection of a behavioral mode.

Hypotheses in plain English

  • The way you feel helps make you say what you say and the way you say it.  What you say and the way you say it helps determine the way you feel.
  • If you can keep your cool, you can control what you say.
  • If you control what you say, you can keep your cool.
  • The clothing you wear is a form of an ongoing statement from black trench coats and gang colors to student uniforms.

Body Language

  • Tone of voice--It may not be what you say, but HOW you say it.
  • Facial expressions that affect you feel and how those around you react to you
  • Body postures that affect how you feel and how those around you react to you.
  • Anyone attempting to change someone's behavior will have greater success when he adds to his methods helping that person change speech habits from negative and combative to positive and friendly.
  • The way you wear your clothes can affect how you feel and how those around you react to you. 

The Different Kinds of Speech Patterns -- The verbal can be described here; the non-verbal can only be demonstrated in a workshop.

  • Attention Grabbers
    • Negative:  Hey, Man!  or Hey, Boy! or Hey, Girl!  or Hey, You!  
    • Positive:  Excuse me...
  • Names
    • Negative:  Jones
    • Positive:  Mr. Jones
  • Demands vs. Requests
    • Negative:  You gotta.....
    • Positive:  Would you mind...
  • Making it emphatic
    • Negative:  Cuss words
    • Positive:  Slow, deliberate tempo
  • No way, Jose
    • Negative:  Like hell, you say.
    • Positive:  You have a point, but...
  • Don't interrupt me/Let me finish
    • Negative:  Shut up.....
    • Positive:  Just one moment, and I'll get back with you...
  • Yeah, I'm listening, keep talking
    • Negative:  Yeah, man I hear you.
    • Positive:  You're right about that.
  • Defend/Attack
    • Negative:  Why are you always.....?
    • Positive:  I have a hard time understanding you when you...
  • Name calling
    • Negative:  Expletive deleted.
    • Positive:   Still searching for a single example.
  • This is the way it is, I can't be wrong
    • Negative:   I never...... or you never said...
    • Positive:  I don't recall....

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